Open Mindedness Leads to Diverse Life

As my husband often says, “We blend”. My husband is a Chinese Filipino and I am a Caucasian mix of many European classics. We are quite the picture, however, with my light skin and bleached blond hair and his brown sugar skin and Asian characteristics.

I rarely notice people, who are uncomfortable when they see us together, but it does occasionally happen and sometimes their reactions are ridiculous. It often reminds me that I want to be more open minded and more accepting. I’m amazed that people today will openly stare at a mixed couple with oppressive stares hoping that their “opinion” will somehow matter. It brings me however, to today’s blog, which I hope is thought provoking. Do you consider yourself diverse and if so, why? What truly makes you diverse?

When I was a diversity officer in Human Resources, I took a training class many years ago. It was a life altering event for me and perhaps it will be inspiring for some of you. It started with a jar and some beads. Each color of bead represented a different race. We had red, for American Indians, black for African Americans, yellow for Asians, whites for Caucasian, green for all others. This is how the exercise worked if you would like to go through it mentally:

Put 9 beads in the jar (one for each category) for the color that represents the majority of the color of the people at work
At church
The school you went to as a child
The college you went to
In your neighborhood today
For your friends
People you dated
The people in your family
People in clubs you belong to (golf, tennis, rotary, etc.)

Now, if 10% of people at work are any other race, then put a bead in. Do the same for church, neighborhood, friendship circles, past dating, family, etc.

The point of the exercise is to see what color your beads are or how diverse your life is. Are the beads primarily one color? What does this tell you about how diverse your life is? What would you like to do differently? Do you make an effort to include people of different races in your life? How much control do you have over that? Many of us think that we are diverse, but how diverse are we? Most of my jar was white. I was surprised by this. I had friends of other colors, but the numbers were very small, not enough to add beads for the 10% in many cases. Part of it, truly was a function of where I lived and not really anything I felt I could help. But, I realized, when sitting in a crowded room, I didn’t seek out people who were different than me. I realized, I chose what University I went to, what work I employed myself at. It truly is a choice. I decided this was something I really wanted to change and I decided to change it.

Of course this exercise only looks at race, but you could look at age, people with illnesses, religion, politics, and all sorts of other things that differentiate us. The point however is very meaningful in helping us to look at our lives. When I went through this exercise I was very young and it made me look at the world differently. When my daughters were young, I bought dolls for them in different skin colors so that they were exposed right away to a world that was different. Would you intentionally buy Barbie dolls of another color to make sure your kids were exposed early on to the idea of accepting something different? To me, this seems natural. Of course it takes additional action steps beyond just buying a doll that is different, it takes exposing your children to people who are different.

Today, I am proud of the choices my children have made. For example, Ally, our oldest, volunteers for Miracle League (http://www.miracleleague.com/) and plays softball with disabled children so they can have the same experiences you and I have in playing a fun sport. She has also helped out in school with kids who were disabled. Madison, Lizzie and Ally have all been involved with programs to work with the elderly through the school system. Ally, Maddie, Lizzie and Emily have had various friends over the years of other cultures and nationalities, such as Japanese, Vietnamese, Indian, and Russian.

Today, I don’t think about the color of the beads in my jar, because diversity isn't just about color. I just keep an open mind and I know that my life will continue to grow and change and diversity will be inevitable. But, one thing is for sure, Ben and I will never blend!